So, you’re the fabled Diggery Doo Dave I’ve heard so much about? We finally meet.
The Boss Lady sent me, Dave. Project Orion? Badminton Jack? The Czech Republic? Your memory is leaking back in. Do you remember it?
It’s 1958: You and Badminton Jack met up with Dr. Taylor of NASA’s Nuclear Department. The two of you were hired for Project Orion, experimenting with the capabilities of nuclear explosions using NASA supercomputers. The two of you discovered that detonating a bomb exactly 13 miles in the air west of the next predicted super-storm in the Caribbean you could effectively alter the course of the storm just enough to send it booming towards Czechoslovakia.
The plan was to topple the nation’s already fragile government. Easygoing storm seasons for the next two years would halt your plans, though. And Project Orion would come to an end before the storm ever saw the light of day.
Over the course of the next few years Badminton Jack would grow desperate for money and fame. He built a crime empire, the Big Boss they called him. His wife, Patricia Lofton—Oprah Winfrey’s sister—would divorce him. His job leaked into his personal life, and he grew abusive. In the divorce settlement Lofton took 50% of Jack’s growing business empire; they called her the Boss Lady.
Over the course of their marriage she had heard him, on multiple occasions, talk in his sleep. He rambled on about some “Project Orion,” she wasn’t sure what it was, but with further digging she had discovered his attempts to revive the program using his newfound power.
By 1993 Czechoslovakia had dissolved, becoming the Czech Republic. Badminton Jack had done it. He had abandoned Project Orion in favor of infiltration. Him and his cronies broke the country apart. He was the leader of the Czech Communist Party. Project Orion was practically forgotten… until you came along.
Dr. Taylor was a name of the past by this point. He was off publishing scientific papers, like the brilliant man he was. You two were his past, a past he had left behind and forgotten. Project Orion was barely even a thought in the old man’s head, a thought he didn’t want surfacing. But you? You had other plans in mind.
You and Badminton Jack met and formulated a plan. You would run the Czech from behind the scenes, but neither of you had backgrounds in leadership. You weren’t politicians or economists, you were conmen. You dragged Dr. Taylor back into your mess, despite his age. You promised him money, wealth beyond belief. But something was off.
The Boss Lady saw it: the money pouring out of your businesses bank account. She traced it to Dr. Taylor’s account. Her men knew that name, they knew about Project Orion. She knew. She knew you were up to something. So, she sent me.
I killed Dr. Taylor.
October 28th, 2004. He had lived a long, long life. But alas, everyone must pass eventually.
Without Dr. Taylor you couldn’t control the Republic. In May of 2004 the other parties won, the Czech joined the European Union. But the two of you wanted it back. You contacted Lance Lord, Senior General Officer for the United States Air Force. You two knew what he had, what you wanted. Codes. You gave him 2 billion dollars. He gave you the nuclear launch codes.
What was it you said, again? “Democracy is like a knife; the sharper it becomes the easier it can be used to stab someone.”
The Boss Lady couldn’t have you walking around with information like that. She saw the cash withdraw from your account. She had dipped her toes in government conspiracy before. She had something not even you knew about. Secret CIA memory erasing technology they had been developing since the 80s. It wasn’t clear if it would work, the CIA was not shy to insane ideas; alongside the memory erasure they had also attempted to ascend dolphin consciousness with LSD. But this was different. The memory erasure did work.
It’s 2016 now. President Obama of the United States of America has called you to a conference in the pentagon. You sit down to talk with him, but I’m there too. The secret service agent sitting behind you.
I wiped your memory, Dave. But here we are again. Badminton Jack wants the codes, but the Boss Lady cant let him have them.
I’m sorry it had to end this way.