It’s the year 2084. Obama is running for president against Trump for the fourteenth time since term limits were removed. Tuvalu has used the money from their website domain to purchase all countries in the British Commonwealth. China has annexed most of Asia in their conquest of the world. But most importantly, the eighteenth Minecraft movie is releasing, A Minecraft Movie: Into the Craftverse.
I wake up the morning of March 15th, preparing for the long day ahead. I already purchased my ticket for the movie from Ticketmaster eight months ago. Every time a new Minecraft movie releases every theater is sold out within the year—mostly from scalpers—I was lucky to have gotten my ticket so late. Ticketmaster’s service fees were atrocious, 215% because I was looking to book so late!
My AI companion, R!6bit, joined me. Since SARS-Cov-2’s newest strain, the Panopticon strain, entered the public view everyone’s stopped interacting with one another. OpenAI released Ribbit models a few years ago to serve as AI companions, and when the new strain hit they remarketed them as the only companions anyone will ever need.
I arrive at the movie theater, despite technological advancements all the employees are still teenagers. They tell me that R!6bit isn’t going to be able to join me inside, since they do not have a ticket. I enter the auditorium and take my seat. It’s completely packed, hundreds of people and AI bots sit scattered around the room.
The movie starts. Jack Black passed away in 2062 at the ripe age of 93. He had, however, signed away the rights to his corporeal form to Warner Bros. Pictures. The CGI version of himself stepped onto screen, animated by AI systems, “CHICKEN JOCKEY,” he yells, the theater joining. Popcorn begins flying in every direction. People are practically going manic.
This is life. Life is good.