I was a great philosopher from the 1800s, shopping with my wholesome grandmother one night. The shelves of the store hid magnificent Colosseum-esque marble rock structures—some of which were slightly phallic in nature. A professor of mine provided a lecture to us as we shopped, and as he ended we also left. We loaded our vehicle and got in, driving down the highway.
From the corner of my vision I can see something following us in the trees… some kind of monster. It leaps from the forest, in an attempt to provoke us, but as it does so too does a black Ford Mustang fly from a nearby ramp, striking the monster down and proceeding to chase us at high speeds. We drift around a bend in an attempt to escape, but we manage to only trap ourselves, blocked by two massive white trucks and a police vehicle.
We get out of our car, attempting to call for help from the vehicles in front of us, to no avail. The black Mustang arrives behind us, Eustace Bagge exiting the vehicle and equipping two comically oversized boxing gloves. He had no interest in us, beckoning with his finger to the white trucks behind us.
Two burly men stepped out from the vehicles, each of them individually outweighing Eustace five times over. They cracked their knuckles and punched the palms of their hands as they approached him. And then the fight began. KABOOM—In one strike Eustace toppled one of the men, a complete KO in one move. The other man put up more of a fight, but before he was put down by Eustace another gentleman stepped out from between the two white trucks.
Large enough to singlehandedly stop a bulldozer, this new opponent looked as though he could eat Eustace for dinner. Eustace swiftly stopped the remaining original individual, and turned his attention to the new larger threat. WHOP! The giant slapped Eustace clean across the face, but when the dust settled Mr. Bagge simply stood there—completely untouched. Eustace threw his arm back, reeling for a punch, and—KAPOW! The giant fell to the ground, completely unconscious.
My grandmother, now equipped with boxing gloves of her own, spread her legs and lowered her core, getting into a proper fighting stance. As she did Eustace turned to face her. “Come and get some.”