Dried Citrines
I had been in and out of sleep for a little while and each time I drifted off I had the same reoccurring dream:
The dream starts with a short monologue: for years, different cultures around the world had gifted donkeys to the United States as a kind of joke. We watch as a small group of workers unload a cow from the back of a truck into a Walmart.
Each time I walk by a single specific isle the cow was there. Waiting. It would sit there, unmoving, like a rock, staring longingly down at the bottommost rack on which stood rows of bags of dried citrines.
Each time I woke up, I wanted to go back to sleep even less.
Floor Mimic
I was at the old house going into the backroom when I noticed something protruding from the floor: a single penis. It was made of the same material as the floor, a dirty rock tile. Anytime anyone walked near it that portion of the floor would come to life, like a mimic, and would attempt to crush the intruder, similar to a floating block boss from any of a million games. I discussed with my family how we intended to rid ourselves of the pest.
Horseshoe Crab
I was working at a beach resort and a kid came up to me demanding that he didn’t need to pay for food or drinks. I pointed him in the direction of the only free items we had in the park.
In the dimly lit corner of the pool complex there stood a shady man with a blood transfusion kit. The kid sat down and the man took his blood, replacing it with horseshoe crab blood. The kid was paid with a free corn dog.
Snoop Dogg Car Wash
I was working at a car wash alongside Snoop Dog and an unnamed dwarf. They had decided it was time to fire me, for unknown reasons. When I arrive home I realized I couldn’t survive without that job, and so went back to plead for it back. They threatened my life, and so I was forced to turn to a life of pickpocketing, choosing to theft from the people who used their car wash.
Nightmare Roadtrip
We were on a road trip, my grandmother and I, and we had to stop to fill up. She went inside and left her phone in the car, but she didn’t return for too long. I sat down in the car, but it began driving on its own. The car pulled into a random house and kicked me out. It was The Simpsons’ house. Bart met me outside, lending me his glasses so I could read a sign.
I attempted to take off the glasses only to discover that I had woken up inside of another dream. I realized I was dreaming and that I was now inside of a nightmare. I attempted to wake myself up, but couldn’t. I searched around the dream for a short period and discovered two of my grandmother. I told them I was in a dream, to which one of them leaped up and strangled me.